Opinion: Is COVID-19 lockdown affecting men and stay at home moms more than working women?
It has been eight months since I started working from with the COVID-19 shutdown. Initially it took me some time to adjust to the way of working. But as a working mom, now a days I find it easier to balance and the fact that I am saving commute time.
Working moms seem to be finding a better balance
The messages I see in the women’s group at work also have a positive tone. Moms are able to spend more time with kids, being able better balance life and work. I see my colleagues taking short breaks during the day to care of their kids, coming back, and completing their work later in the night. It seems like working from home has given working moms more flexibility.
Men are spending longer hours at work than before
When talking to some of my friends who are currently stay at home moms, I get a different picture on men. One consistent theme that emerged out of the conversation is that their husbands are spending much more time at work than they used to before the shut down.
Men seem to be working much longer hours than before. With remote work, they are starting their workday earlier than before, but finishing much later in the evening. Most are sitting in an office room separated from the rest of the family the whole day, taking breaks only for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Their stress level seems to be higher at work, and being at home all the time, there is no more winding down time. The more time they are spending at work translates to less time for the family. If the men are the sole breadwinners of the family, it also puts more stress on them during these uncertain times.
This is affecting stay at home moms
This situation is also affecting stay at home moms. Along with their earlier workload at home, they now have to help kids with the online classes. Now, if the kids are in different age groups, the start time, end time and lunch break for the kids tend to be at different times, adding more work to the moms. In addition to this, they spend less time with their spouse who is already tired of overworking.
Since the kids see that dad is busy working, they go to mom for each and everything. They are not allowed to go and bug dad for anything as he is ‘at work’. This unknowingly creates a bias on the value of work that mom and dad are doing. This can affect the self esteem of the mom as well if the kids are too demanding to let mom spend time on things she likes to do outside of housework.
The situation seems to be better when both parents are working
In families where both parents are working, the situation seems to be a bit different. Since both parents were already sharing the workload at home, that continued into the lockdown as well. If it is lunch time and mom is in a meeting, kids know they can go and bug their dad. These interruptions also gives the dad a short break from work.
Small changes in workplace can help
One of the reasons the working from home has become hectic is due to the expectation that anyone is available at anytime. This perception results in meetings scheduled throughout the day without any specific time for lunch, dinner or coffee breaks. Setting a common lunch break hour (a no meeting hour) across the company will help everyone get a necessary break to spend time with their family.
Managers can also help by being aware of the challenges their employees are going through. They should discuss with each individual what flexibility they can offer to help make it easier for them.
Lastly, each one of us know what gives us a better balance in life and we should ask for any adjustments to be made at workplace to make sure we don’t break with the new way of working.
